The Vampire Diaries Continuation
by pinacolada544
Summary: 3x22Elena wakes up and is in transition, but more importantly she's in denial. Denial of being the one thing she never wanted, denial of the days events, denial of her feelings. She struggles with her decision to complete the transition or not, and later they find that she's powerful, more powerful than anything or anyone, and her destiny is the death of all the ones she loves.READ
1. Chapter 1

Elana's body sprung up as she gasped for the air that her lungs screamed for. The first thing she noticed was the agonizing pain deep within her head, her body was in overdrive as her senses were heightened. The sights around her began to come into focus, she captured the gaze of a familiar face at her side, she knew this face, but she couldn't place where she knew him. She watched as his hand met her shoulder pushing her to calm down, she saw his lips moving in a slower than normal motion, but all she could manage to hear was the increasing thrum of something in the distance. She focused on the sound, closing her eyes to tune out her other senses, she could hear the panic escaping his mouth, she heard the sound of his skin colliding with another, and the sound grew stronger as she realized this thrumming sound was a heartbeat.

"Elena! Elena!" His face smothered in panic he rushed through the halls in search of her.

She knew this voice all too well, the sound of her own heartbeat synchronized with his as she tore her eyes open. The sound of his soothing voice, was replaced with a melody of metal clangs, stern voices that she failed to recognize, the sound of sobs, laughter, but most prominently heartbeats. The sounds began to fade into the distance to her relief as she came into contact with her other senses. She felt a burning sensation just beneath the surface of her skin, and she felt a strong pressure built up behind her eyes. She quickly took in her surroundings, she could see clearly; every edge lacked the previous blur. She scanned the room in search of the light source, but a concerned look was replaced as she saw only the fluorescent bulbs that were dim in comparison to the room. She felt everything, she felt the cotton brushing against her collarbone, the roughness of her jeans as they clung to her body, and she felt blood rushing through her veins. For only a moment all of her surroundings dissipated around her, as the heartbeat she once heard grew closer to her, she pulled her eyes to the doorway and saw the face in front of the drumming that lulled her into a calmness. She seemed to be drawn to him, his face all too familiar for her not to know him. She desperately studied his face in search of a name, clamoring the air for any answer at all. She watched his face, seeing his harsh features, his strong jaw and his surprisingly soft blue eyes. Everything seemed slower as she saw a strand of his long dark hair fall into his eyes, before he brushed his hair back in a single movement.

"Elena!" The same panic ridden voice called out to her. He struggled to keep himself from shaking her violently as he watched her eyes study him from afar.

Elena. The sound of the letters melted together familiarly, the name that she had heard previously she heard again directed at her. She struggled for her breath as she searched for something, anything at all to tell her who she was, who they were. Her body began to convulse instinctually as her head rolled back, she saw a young girl, whose face seemed embedded into her head. She watched, as the girl grew older, she quickly realized that this girl was herself. She relived every step she's ever taken, every breath she's ever drawn in. The memories flooded her brain like a dam had burst, as fast as she had awoken with no memory at all she returned to reality. Flashes of herself in a car slowly sinking into water shown in front of her, and her body stiffened at the sight of this same man who stood beside her saved her life once, but failed to save her again. She opened her eyes once again, and opened her mouth in search of words; she struggled to form what was once second nature as she drew out her breath the only sound that escaped was that of a hunger deep inside of her. She was pulled into a sitting position on the cold metal bed that she rested on. She once again focused on the heartbeat that was so peaceful; she looked to Damon as she realized that the heartbeat she had heard was not that of her boyfriend, but his brother. Panic overrode her and she placed her hand onto Stefan's chest in search of his rhythmic beating. She struggled to hone in on the sound of his heart but when she managed to tune out all else and focus on the sound, she wasn't calmed by it, it was sporadic and it tortured her maniacally. Her hand dropped from his chest and she found her words.

"Stefan…" She said weakly, she searched for his reply as she returned her focus to Damon's heart to calm her once again. She watched his face as a single tear, that seemed to follow many previously, fell from his cheek onto her arm. She returned to her consciousness, and the sense of confusion and panic evaded her body. She steadied herself in an attempt to stand before nearly falling as her arms rejected to support her.

Stefan quickly placed his arm around her waist as to steady her as he helped her to her feet. She felt his touch on her, but somehow ached for more. She couldn't tare her eyes from Damon; she searched her head for an answer to why she was so calmed by his face, his voice, by his heartbeat. To her disappointment she found no answers, but when she looked into his eyes she remembered. She remembered what he once told her to forget, _made_ her forget. His words pierced her ears as she heard him:

I just have to say it once. You just need to here it. I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you... I don't deserve you, but my brother does. God I wish you didn't have to forget this, but you do. She studied his eyes as she saw his pupils grow and shrink methodically as he told her she had to forget.

She remembered their first meeting"

It was her alone on the phone.

"You're right you and my mom are right, but i just can't bring myself to tell him, at least not tonight, i'll call you later."

"Katherine?" It was Damon

"Uhm...no..I..I'm Elena."

"Oh..you...you just look...I'm sorry...you just really remind me of someone..i'm Damon"

"Not to be rude or anything Damon but it's kind of weird that you're out here in the middle of nowhere"

"You're one to talk..you're out here all by yourself.."

"It's Mystic Falls...nothing bad ever happens here." She then regretted that statement "I got into a fight with my boyfriend..."

"About what? may i ask..."

"Life...future...he's got it all mapped out.."

"...and you don't want it?"

"I don't know what i want..."

"Well that's not true...you want what everybody wants.."

"What..? a mysterious stranger who knows all the answers?"

"hmm...well lets just say i've been around a long time..i've learned a few things.."

"So..Damon..tell me..what is it that i want?"

He then stepped closer.

"You want a love that consumes you,you want passion and adventure, and even a little danger"

"So..what do you want?"

There was a honk and car lights pulling up to where they were.

"That's my parents"

"I want you to find everything you're looking for, but for right now i want you to forget that this happened, can't have people knowing i'm in town yet, goodnight Elena."

And then he was gone.

She then remembered the jolt of electricity through her body as his hand pulled hers into his own previously at a motel room, and the life that she had searched for since her parent's death returned to her when her lips finally met his on the same night.

Stefan was holding her "Shh, shh. It's okay. It's going to be okay." It was then that she realized tears were falling from her face. She hesitantly turned her head from Damon and onto Stefan. She pushed away these previous thoughts, these feelings that she struggled to understand. Her arms found their way around his neck as she had many times before as she returned his soothing hug.

She tried to remember, remember her and Stefan, how he made her feel. But when she thought back but now it all seemed like a ghost of emotions. She felt blood rush to her face, but it was somewhat different than when she blushed, the pressure returned behind her eyes but now also in her gums. She abrubtly pulled away from Stefan and without another thought rested her hands on Damons chest feeling his heartbeat pulse through her hands, like electricity flowing through her body. Her eyes closed and her face relaxed, relieving the pressure. She looked up at him from under her lashes, realizing that she was probably making him uncomfortable.

"Sorry." She mumbled, as she pushed herself away from him avoiding the contact of his eyes.

He watched her face in confusion, and saw Stefan eyeing him. In that same moment Jeremy tore into the room where his sister stood.

"Elena?" He frantically looked at her face in search of the similarity. He stood in astonishment as he realized that it was in fact his sister who stood before him, living, breathing. He ran into and embraced the sister he feared he lost. "I-I don't understand. I saw Alaric's ghost and the only way he could be dead was if-" He stopped himself from continuing, the thought of the words like needles to his skin. Damon saw her face change from the relief she felt from seeing her brother as it scrunched up into pain, he saw the veins form under her eyes momentarily and disappear all the same.

"It's okay. It's okay." She comforted her brother, "_I'm_ okay." As soon as the words escaped her mouth she straightened up, her eyes filled with confusion.

"Elena?" Jeremy asked concerned, he watched, as she looked panicked "Elena, are you okay?"

She studied the room, she was in a hospital, but she wasn't in a patient's room. She remembered drifting off into a sleep deep under the water after refusing Stefan's help before Matt was helped. "I-I was," She couldn't comprehend what had happened before. "I was only unconscious." Her hands covered her face, tracing her features in search of comfort. "I was _only _unconscious." She repeated the phrase to herself. Tears began streaming down her face again as she frantically turned around the room. She felt Stefan's hand on her back in an attempt to comfort her, she turned to face him before repeating, "I was _only_ unconscious…" she watched his face carefully in search of an affirmation to her suspicions. His eyes closed after she said this, telling her that she wasn't only unconscious. She didn't understand, she had died, how was she standing here? She hadn't had any vampire blood in her system. She turned her focus to the scalpel that rested on a table a few feet away, she grabbed it and made a single incision deep into her forearm and she watched the wound bleed. The blood escaped from her body and dripped on the floor and she saw as the wound began to heal before her eyes. Stefan tore the bloody scalpel from her hands in an attempt to keep her from repeating herself. She looked up to see Jeremy's eyes filled with terror, and astonishment.

"Am- am I a…?" She questioned the group that surrounded her as she scraped her fingernails where the wound previously was in search of the incision. The blood covered her palm and she studied it. Her hand began to shake and she looked to Stefan for an explanation.

"When Jeremy brought you here earlier, your injuries were worse than Dr. Fell led on, you had bleeding in your brain…" Stefan trailed off as her panic ridden face awaited his continuance. "She gave you blood to heal you." He stared into her eyes as she saw the pieces fit together. He held her arms in his own and when she understood what he was telling her she tore herself away from him, walking backwards before running into Damon, she turned herself to see his worried eyes before she pulled away from him as well, she began to fall and Damon caught her resting her limp body against him as he carried her home with his inhuman speed.

He began to set her onto her bed but before turning she squeezed his hand in an attempt to bring her closer. He scooted under her pulling her up to rest against his chest as she began to stir awake. Stefan was in the room with a handful of blood bags and he made his way to them. The room was dark, the only light escaping through the window was that of the moon, that illuminated onto her olive skin. He opened the first bag bringing it to her face; she violently turned away from him avoiding the bag. His brows furrowed as he pulled the bag to her once again, "Elena, you need to drink to complete the transition." He watched her face intently as he spoke to her.

Her eyes filled with sadness looked up to Stefan, "I never wanted this." she looked down at her hand that rested in Damon's "I _don't_ want this." a series of tears trailed down her cheek as she studied Stefan's face, awaiting his reply. She wasn't surprised when he nodded in compliance, he had always respected her and her decisions. As he left the room Elena felt Damon tense under her, his hand almost painfully gripping her own. She pulled herself off of him turning to face him and she saw the pain, fear, but most of all anger in his eyes. "I know you don't understand, Damon." she started hesitantly, "But I need you to support me." her words pleading him.

His look grew cold and she could see him on the verge of shutting off his emotions to spare himself the pain, but then a glimmer of hope shone in his eyes, followed by an intense confusion,

His voice croaked as he pleaded with her, "Why?" he wanted to understand why she didn't want this.

She shut her eyes in search of an answer, several moments passing between the two before she raised her head to his studying his eyes "I don't want to become a monster." Tears fell from her eyes as she came to terms as to why she had never wanted this, even if she did want an eternity with Stefan.

A sense of hope replaced the anger in his eyes, "I can help you, Elena. You don't have to be a monster. You have to try." His eyes pleaded with hers in search of hope "You have to _fight._" This statement hit home, Elena had never been one to give up on something, especially life.

She failed to pull her eyes from him, "I don't want to fight anymore, Damon." She was tired, tired of fighting so hard for something that it seemed it wasn't meant to be, her life.


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't lose you, Elena." His eyes like daggers at her as he said this, the words piercing into her very being. Her hands fell from his body, and he returned the motion to cup her face. The moment his hand touched her he felt her heart rate skyrocket and she watched his lips, and he pulled closer into her, "I _need_ you." At that moment a regretful tear fell from the corner of his eye, avoiding his cheek and falling straight onto her hand, and in that moment that she saw heard the desperation in his voice, the anger in his eyes, and with the sadness of his tear the feeling to fight returned to her, the want to live, the need to live, for _him_…for Stefan, for Jeremy, Jeremy had no one left but Elena.

She hesitantly drank the warm liquid that was being motioned towards her, she had forgotten about the memories of her and Damon, she forgot she ever remembered them, she just relished of the feeling of falling asleep in his arms.

She awoke to uncomfortable warmth on her skin, the same warmth that use to calm her, comfort her, was now almost painful. She looked down to her chest feeling the heavy medallion rise and fall with her breath, the same medallion that her mother wore, her birth mother. She felt different; she didn't feel like Elena, she was someone else, something else. She glanced around the room to find that she was alone, she tiptoed downstairs to find Damon and Stefan waiting for her, sitting patiently on the couch. She sat in an armchair and enjoyed the comfortable silence between the three, she looked up from her hands into Damon's eyes, she was pulled into a trance as she stared at him, the memories that flashed before her at the hospital replaying in slow motion before her eyes. As her surroundings came back into focus at the end of her flashbacks she felt the familiar feeling of a tear streaming down her face, when she looked up Damon and Stefan were both at her side speechless but their eyes were filled with fear and confusion as they watched her. Her brows furrowed as she searched for an explanation to their response, as she tried to collect what happened in her trance Damon's thumb wiped over her tear. She slightly pushed her face into his touch, feeling his thumb leave a burning trail on her. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and as he pulled it out his fear grew.

"It's blood." His voice was low, as if trying to hide their findings from Elena.

"What?" Stefan questioned in disbelief. Stefan held Elena's emotionless face in his hands as he looked for any sense of relief to their bewilderment.

"What?" Elena repeated as Stefan examined her.

As Stefan's hands fell from her face she returned to her trance momentarily, but what she saw in this was something unexplainable, something she shouldn't know, something she couldn't possibly know. Her voice was monotone, as if being compelled, when she spoke.

"Klaus is alive." The statement was steady and lacked the usual emotion of Elena's voice. "I must kill him."

Her eyes blinked furiously as she realized what she just said, she remembered her vision, she saw the original witch, and she showed her what had been done, but how, and more importantly why?

Damon stood a few inches away from Elena as she spoke, while Stefan stumbled back in horror and astonishment. No one knew what was happening, the tear of blood reminded Stefan of the failed hybrids, but this was different her tears were blood instead of her eyes bleeding, so that was ruled out. He struggled to understand what was happening to her. Elena couldn't possible kill Klaus, she was no match for him, but why was she saying these things, Klaus was dead. Wasn't he?

Elena ran a hand through her hair, brushing it away from her face as she comprehended her words, she knew that she couldn't kill Klaus even if she wanted to, but how could she? Wasn't he already dead?

"I thought you killed Klaus." Stefan's voice was stern as he spoke to Damon.

"I did." He spoke softly, refusing to let his gaze drift from Elena.

Elena fumbled with her words trying to put her thoughts into a coherent sentence, "I- our…Klaus is our bloodline." She said, her voice filled with shock. "Bonnie cast a spell. He's in Tyler's body." The words flew more freely but her thoughts jumbled together in search of her reason for this knowledge.

Stefan sat on the couch again as he listened to Elena's soothing voice, "How do you know this?"

"She showed me. Esther showed me." She was sure of the answer, although she spoke before she even knew it herself.

She stood up and began pacing the room mumbling single words and sounds under her breath. Eventually everyone calmed down and was pulled from their thoughts at the knocking on the door. Before the brother's even heard a sound Elena was at the door, she was fast. She pulled open the heavy wood door revealing Bonnie, who bore a concerned look as she saw the trail of blood that remained on her face.

Elena roughly wiped her face from any evidence of the past discoveries as Bonnie slid into the house silently. As soon as Damon caught sight of Bonnie he held her neck, pushing her against the wall as his fangs protruded. Without a second thought and in a single movement Elena pulled Damon from Bonnie, with her excessive strength. His brows furrowed as he felt her hands on his arms she was strong, too strong, stronger than him. She released his arms at the realization of her strength.

"What the hell is going on?" Damon said nearly screaming. "How are you stronger than me?"

She looked down to the floor innocently, "I-I don't know." Her voice faded as she spoke.

"She can't be." Stefan said matter-of-factly. "Can she?" his voice now filled with disbelief, Damon just must have not fought her, that must be it.

Damon took the moment of her weakness and threw himself at her, pushing her to the ground. She wiggled under him, "Damon, get off me." She pleaded with him.

He used every bit of strength he had, he had to know if his accusations were true, "Fight me." He ordered her. She nodded her head in rejection of his advances on the subject; she knew she couldn't possibly be stronger than him. "Fight me!" he said louder pulling her up and slamming her back down, it hurt him to do this to her but he knew it wouldn't hurt her so he forced himself.

She looked up at him and let out an exasperated sigh as she effortlessly pushed him off of her and threw him against the fireplace across the room. His back left an imprint on the stones as he slid down to his feet, astonished. By this point Jeremy had come downstairs in time to see her, and everyone's eyes lay on her in horror.

Suddenly insecure Elena sought comfort, she took a step towards the couch burying her hands in her face with her mumbled words, "What's wrong with me?" her sobs were quiet and long and as she drew her hands from her face she examined them, covered in blood and she began shaking all over.

As everyone reluctantly calmed they sat in the comfort of the silence once again, until eventually Bonnie and the Salvatore brothers decided that their best bet for an explanation would be for Bonnie to search her spirit, for an image or a feeling, anything at all. Bonnie sat hesitantly next to Elena, seemingly in fear of her previous reactions, she rested Elena's hands in her own as she calmly shut her eyes. As soon as her eyes shut they shot back open, in confusion, concern, but most of all fear, fear of Elena.

"She's powerful. She's stronger and faster than anyone, than _anything_." She barely believed the words that fell from her lips, how could this be, she shut out her surroundings once again in an explanation to their new findings. "In her death…they gave her their power, all of them, she harbors the power of every spirit and being on the other side, fueling her. "

**I decided to take a less than expected turn to the story, let me know what you think! Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

A thousand thoughts swirled the room suffocating its inhabitants, it seemed as if an eternity passed before someone broke the silence.

"Why her?" Damon's voice remained slow and steady although his head was whirling a thousand miles a minute.

Bonnie thought for a short moment, "Most likely…" she paused, "she chose her because of her selfless tendencies, her compassion, the good in her.

The moment that Bonnie finished her explanation Elena lightened up, "Well she chose wrong because I won't kill Klaus, not if it means…" she fought against her will to look to Damon and Stefan, she couldn't think about that right now, "killing his entire bloodline."

Immediately the atmosphere in the room changed, Bonnie looked to the floor avoiding the wandering eyes. "What is it Bonnie?" Jeremy's calming voice provoked her to speak again.

She slowly looked up at Elena, "Ultimately," she braced herself, "you may not have a choice."

Elena bit her lip anticipating the 'unless', but it never came. But her hope returned as Bonnie began to speak again, "Elena, the last thing I want is for Klaus to die because that would mean losing you and Caroline and my mom and Stefan." She made it prominent that losing Damon wouldn't faze her, "But this is bigger than us now, Klaus isn't just a threat to this town he's a threat to this world."

Elena took a deep breath, "I need some time to process all of this. Thank you for coming Bonnie." She said sincerely as she began up the stairs to her bedroom.

She sat on her bed after closing her blinds turning her room pitch black. She rested against her pillow struggling to capture her thoughts. What did all of this mean, to her, to Damon and Stefan, to Jeremy? She focused every thought on the events of the morning but her thoughts always wondered back to her memories, she had seen them two separate times now but after her trance ended she couldn't remember what it was. The only memory of the visions was Damon. She reached to her side sliding her hand over her crowded nightstand in search of the green leather-bound diary, the last diary her mom gave her. Tearless sobs set in realizing the amount of time that had passed since she last thought of them. She ran her fingertips over the rough material, what would they think about this? They were vampire hunters, they obviously would never have wanted this for her, but neither did she. She hoped and prayed that they would accept her, that their love for her would overcome the fact that she was a monster now. That she was the bump in the night.

She writhed in her bed wordlessly calling for comfort. John. Her dad had given his life so she wouldn't become this but now she was, it was a slap in his face. He had died for nothing, and now he was gone.

"I'm gonna' start going through the remaining grimoires…" Bonnie's voice trailed off as a silent invitation.

Stefan wanted to stay he wanted to be here for her, and god forbid protect Jeremy from her. But he knew that if she attacked Jeremy he wouldn't be able to control himself, he and Damon exchanged a look, a silent agreement of protection. "I'll help you." He finally said.

"I'll stay here for now…" Jeremy said, suddenly remembering his sister was now a vampire, "if you think it's okay?" directed at Stefan.

"No worries little Gilbert, I'll be here in case your sister goes on a murderous rampage." Damon smirked as he spoke but felt uneasy about his words, talking about Elena killing. At the same time it excited him, he thought of killing with her, hunting with her.

Damon sat on the couch in awe, in awe of everything Elena has been through and has yet to go through, in awe of his professionalism in all of this, but most of all in awe of her calmness, her acceptance of everything. Then it began to sink in as the adrenaline from almost losing her wore off, she chose Stefan. Again. She left him there to die alone, severing any slice of hope that still remained. But then…she said maybe if we met first…and we did. No, he couldn't keep doing this to himself that was simply her way of trying to comfort him; her memories wouldn't change the fact that it would always be Stefan. He shook these thoughts from his mind, he hated her, and loved her all the same, he wanted to leave, to start to move on from her but first he had to know that she was safe, that she was okay. So, he would stay, for now.

But little did he know that knowing what she now knew did in fact change things, it changed everything, but that was nothing new because things had changed a long time ago.

He should stay down here far away from Elena as possible, but then again when did he ever do what he should?

He sat up from the couch and it shifted from the loss of weight as he turned around walking behind Jeremy. He shot him a warning look telling him to stay put as he started up the familiar walk to Elena's room. He stood in the open threshold of her uncharacteristically darkened room and took notice to her tense form. He inched closer to her and although her back was to him he could tell that she was upset, he could always tell when she was upset. He walked around to see her eyes forced shut and her knuckles growing white from holding onto her pillow so tightly.

He held back his snarky comment as he laid down next to her placing his hands behind his head. His gaze shifted from the ceiling to her, "You okay?" he asked thoughtfully.

She smiled inwardly at his concern; she loved this side of him, the side of him reserved for her. She opened her eyes to look back at him before she spoke, she opened her mouth trying to find her words but the only thing she could find was a mumbled plea and with that she furiously shook her head.

She sat up and she looked stunned, as if just gaining information that had been obvious. His eyes questioned her as she avoided him but after a moment of squirming she settled into a sitting position staring at herself in the mirror across the room. Everything around her faded except for herself and soon all the figures of those she's lost sat beside her.

"It's all my fault, Damon." She said breathlessly, she couldn't see him but she could sense him still with her. "God, what would my parents think of this?" she laughed silently at her carefree teenage girl tone, "They'd hate me, they'd hate what I've become, they'd hate that I was the monster that they spent their lives keeping from me." She couldn't look at the faces in the mirror anymore so she focused on her hands that rested in her lap.

"They wouldn't hate you Elena, nothing could change their love for you." He sounded like such a softy, he sounded like himself with her.

"Yeah?" her tone was mocking, "Something changed in your dad. I mean I wasn't even their daughter, I was only their niece they raised and now I've become the thing they hated the most." He words flew faster than she could comprehend and she immediately regretted the comment about his dad. "I'm sorry I-" she was cut off by his hurt expression that was soon replaced with his cold emotionless one.

"No, you're right Elena." He was finally faced with the cold hard facts that he had avoided in his 160 sum years, his father killed him, he hadn't loved him.

She continued to vent to him, she had to get these thoughts out before her head exploded, "John died so that I could stay human, and now? Now all of that was for nothing. I hated him my whole life but he still sacrificed himself for me. And Isobel…" she didn't even know where to begin with that, "Even though I hated her I loved her, she was my mom, but I never got to tell her that, she died knowing the only thing I ever told her, that she was a monumental disappointment. Jenna, oh God Jenna. I couldn't save her, if only I had stopped being selfish and cut myself from you and Stefan than she would still be here and Jeremy wouldn't be alone." She opened her mouth to start again but was cut off by Damon.

"Jeremy's not alone." He comforted her.

"Yes, he is. The girl you knew is gone forever, Damon. And soon enough I will be too." She had previously decided that she couldn't stay here anymore; everyone believed she was dead, but the main reason being that she had to protect Jeremy, not only from her now very dangerous self but also this world. And she couldn't be what broke apart the brothers, so she would suffer through an eternity alone.

His brows furrowed in confusion, "What does that mean?" he asked her weakly.

She sighed, she hadn't meant to tell him "I'm just upset Damon." She lied and thankfully he bought it. She let her body fall lifelessly back onto the bed beside Damon as she tried to remember what she saw in her trance. She bit her lip and turned her head to study the man that lay beside her, she remembered a feeling she had as her life slipped out of her grasp, he had always been there for her. It was a feeling unlike any other, through all of her rejections and their fights he never left her, he was always there, even now after she chose his brother again he stayed with her. She couldn't do this anymore, she was already overwhelmed by her feelings for both of the brothers and now she knew her feelings for Damon, and it wasn't something she could ignore if she was with Stefan. She had to leave, she had to leave and let them finally find some peace from the chaos that was her life, but what was going on with her? She couldn't leave without figuring it out, could she? Bonnie said she might not have a choice and surely that won't change whether she's here with them or across the country, it was a fate she couldn't escape but she wouldn't drag down her friends with her. She remembered the fleeting feeling as she wished for more time, another moment to tell him what she never had, she made a thousand promises to God if he just let her tell him, tell him how she felt but never had before. But God had given her that chance, and this was it. But how could she possibly tell him everything then leave? She couldn't bear the look on his face, but she couldn't just leave him a note, "Oh hey Damon I'm leaving mystic falls to protect you because I'm in love with you, see you…never!" yeah, that wouldn't work. The least she owed him was to be honest with him, at least once.

She took a deep breath and turned on her side to face him. She took in the sight of him and noticed everything she never truly had before, the shine of his hair and the way it was angled away from his face as he laid down, the slight pout of his lips, the barely noticeable rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the smell that she had come to know as purely Damon, bourbon and simply him. She shook her head out of these thoughts and scrambled her brain for her words, for any words to make him understand.

"Damon?" she said knowing she already had his full attention.

He looked back at her expectantly and took in the sight of her, every time he saw her she seemed more beautiful than the last. The way her hair fell over her shoulders, her brown eyes that held more emotion than he thought possible, the smell that was purely Elena, she always smelt of vanilla and simple her.

She didn't know what to say, where to begin. So she tried to remember what she wrote in her diary about him, about them, about her feelings for him.

"I don't even know where to start…" her voice faded off as she voiced her thoughts.

He sighed, he knew where this was going, "No need to worry, Elena. As soon as we figure out what's going on with you I'll be out of your and St. Stefan's hair."

Her face dropped, how could he even begin to think that was what she wanted, she grew angry, furious even at how he assumed she didn't want him around. But more than any anger she felt she was afraid that she wouldn't have another chance to tell him, so she pushed his statement behind as she felt the words flow easily now.

"There are so many things that I want to tell you, that I want to make you understand, but not even in my eternity could I begin to make you understand how I feel. How your love for me drew me like a moth to the flame and consumed me whole, how it scared me more than any death I have ever faced. How I feel when you touch me, it leaves a burning trail on my skin, the way my heart skips when you say my name how you do, how my feelings for you were always wrong but always felt right." She scoffed in spite of herself, she sounded like she was reciting a book but these words, and they were the closest things she had to making him feel how she did. "I never wanted to be a vampire." I repeat as I had many times in the last day, "But I will never regret my decision to save Matt...and you. I would die a thousand times over again if it meant saving you, I could never regret that. I'll never regret the things I felt when Stefan pulled him from the car. The pain of my lungs inhaling the water was forgotten, the only thing I could understand the only coherent thought I had was that I never told you." A smile found its way to her face at her incoming words and realizing she didn't keep one of them, "I made a thousand promises to God, pleas to the witches, and I begged the devil to make a deal with me, to just give me chance, give me a chance to tell you what I never had, what I never let myself even think." Oh god, how was she going to say this, how could she say this, but she had to, she had to say it once, out loud, to _him, for him. _"I don't know how to tell you that you were the only constant in my life, I don't know how to tell you that no matter what you did I could never hate you, I can't even begin to fathom how much you mean to me…" oh no, this was it, this was really it, no backing out now. Her voice was soft, and had he not been a vampire wouldn't have heard her next words. "I don't know how to tell you that I love you, that I'm _in _love with you." She wanted to run away right now, to leave Mystic falls this second, but her feet wouldn't allow it, she had to hear his response.

He blinked, this was not happening, he fell asleep on the couch and this was all a dream, he blinked again, no he was in her room, okay so he fell asleep here. He blinked again, okay none of this was a dream, she had just said the words that he longed to hear from the moment he knew he was in love with her, that he was in love with her too. He wanted to rip her heart out, to stake her, to kill her because those words changed everything for him, he wanted to kiss her, to make love to her, to make her his in every way possible because those words changed everything for him. He opened his mouth but no words could describe the joy and happiness and anger and sadness that he felt right now and thankfully he was saved from himself, from his words as her lips crashed against him sucking any thoughts from his head. His entire body and mind focused on his lips, on the feeling of hers against his own, the feeling of her hand against his jaw, the feeling of her hair in his hands, the taste that was purely her. He responded to her kiss and pushed himself into her then rocked back to pull them off of the bed and against the wall. She pulled away from him and looked longingly into his eyes before he caught her lips with his own again. He trailed kisses from the corner of her mouth down to her jaw and neck before she pulled his head back up to look into her eyes again. She pulled away from him as he tried to kiss her again and he was confused and it showed on his face.

"I love you Damon." She repeated and a smile, a genuine smile covered his face as he opened his mouth to return her words he was cut off, "But I don't deserve you." She said finally, she rubbed her hand along the side of his face, "You deserve so much better than me, someone so much better than me." The confusion returned along with anger at her words, "I'm so sorry I could never be who I wanted to be, who you deserved me to be. But now you'll finally have the chance to find that someone." She pulled away from him and he understood what she was saying, that she was going to leave, leave him and Stefan and Jeremy and Mystic Falls. She turned around to face him again, "I can make you forget…" she knew that with this power she could surely compel him, she wanted him to remember her to remember how much he loved her and how much she loved him, but she knew that he could never really let go if he remembered her. A look of panic filled his eyes, he didn't want to forget, he couldn't forget, he couldn't forget the way he felt about her the way she felt about him, he couldn't forget her lips on his, her words the words that changed everything in him.

"Take me with you." He pleaded, he couldn't even begin to think about living without her. This was exactly what he had done with Katherine, sat and begged her to take him with her to take him. This was what she did to him, this was really him, desperate to be loved, desperate to love, desperate for her.

A look of pure joy that she had not experienced for along time shot through her at these words, she wanted to, she wanted to take him with her, to run away with him, to run to the edge of the earth with him, but she couldn't do that to him. She had been no better than Katherine, and he deserved better. But she couldn't think that he would just let her leave and be okay with that, but he wouldn't want her to take his memories and yet she had to try again. "I can take them away, I can take it all away. I can make you forget that you loved me, I can make you forget all the times I hurt you." That last one was more for her, she was so ashamed knowing how much she hurt him. "But I can't take you with me," her words broke his heart and it showed on his face, "Even though I can't begin to think about suffering through an eternity without you I don't deserve you, Damon. I never really have. I love you, and that's why I can't be selfish with you, I don't deserve you but someone does." She repeated the words he said to her in her memory.

He turned them around so she was against the wall, he slammed his fist hard into the wall beside her head and she flinched, "NO! Selfish is you running away from all of this, from Jeremy and Bonnie, from me!" he yelled, "Selfish is you telling me that you love me and then expecting me to just let you go!" he didn't know how or why he went from desperate to this angry but he had to make her understand. And the feelings flooded back, he wanted to kill her more than anything, to make her feel how she was him, ripping his heart out.

Tears were streaming down her face and her voice was shaking as she looked into his eyes, "You know that I left town, you'll miss me for a little while but you know it's for the best, protecting you and Stefan and everyone in this town." She began.

Tears were streaming down his face too and he forced himself to look at the floor, he couldn't forget her he wouldn't. But as she stopped speaking he repeated her, "You left town, I'll miss you but it's for the best. It's protecting me and Stefan and everyone in this town." His voice was monotone and he felt himself starting to believe it, so he held onto their conversation just moments before, her words. "Please, stop, don't make me forget you." He didn't allow himself to look at her because he was afraid with every second that he would forget, forget his love for her and hers for him. He forced his eyes shut hoping she would respect his pleas and with a gush of wind she was gone from under him, the only remnants of what had happened was a hole in the wall. Fear ran through him, fear that he'd wake up and none of this happened, that she was gone for good, that the next time he closed his eyes he would forget everything, forget her. But then he felt calmed by the thought of her leaving, "I'll miss her but it's for the best." He repeated in his mind. "No, No, No! It's not for the best, and it's not okay, I have to find her." He argued within himself.

Elena hovered just on the edge of the woods, daring to go deeper to go farther. She wanted to turn around, to go back to Damon and kiss him for the rest of her life, she wanted to be with him, with Jeremy, with everyone. But she couldn't, it was selfish. Or was Damon right? Was what she was doing selfish? She didn't even know anymore, the only thing she knew was that she had to get out of here, she had to get away from Mystic Fall, away from Damon, away from herself. So she did the only thing she could, she ran.


End file.
